When I was in high school. I always thought my mother was a little obsessive about my friends. Well, more about one of my friends in particular. In order to protect his innocence, I’ll refer to that friend as “Mason”.

My mother used to refer to Mason as a “wild child”. It probably had to do with the fact hat he dressed in all black, listened to heavy metal music, and he was very comfortable in bars (his mom owned a bar, what can I say?).

Despite her best attempts to get me to stop hanging out with Mason, there I was dressed in black, listening to heavy metal music, and hanging out in Mason’s mom’s bar…mostly drinking coke and playing pool very badly.

The truth is most parents can be obsessive about who your friends are. And not just parents.

When the Buddha was once asked about what advice he could give to householders for a happy life (us, regular people who didn’t want to become monks), he said to choose good friends.

He didn’t say choose a good spouse (who should be your friend, but still…). He specifically said friends. And I think the Buddha, and most parents are on to something here. The role friends play in your personal development is paramount, especially when you consider the influence friends can have over you.

I believe it is because friends are the only people we choose to bring into our lives. Family? Can’t get rid of them. Kids? Can’t get rid of them even when we sometimes want to. Most relationships we have in life are not of our choosing because most long-term relationships are with family members.

Friends, on the other hand, are the people we consciously choose to bring into our lives. And they wield a heavy influence over us. In fact, friends act as our emotional support system most of the time.

Think of the kinds of friends you have:

• Close friends
• Long-time friends
• Friends at work
• Friends you haven’t seen for 5 years but with one phone call you’re friends all over again

There are many more kinds of friends out there, but I think you can understand what I am saying.

Being surrounded by the right kinds of friends is crucial to your personal development. Being surround by people who are supportive, yet honest with you are the best ones to have. And to be frank, I have very few close friends, but the ones I am proud to call friends are people I trust with anything.

Because friends are the ones you tend to turn to when facing rough patches in life. They can act as your emotional support network. And sometimes they can even help you make the difficult decisions you cannot make on your own.

When I decided to go back to Korea, I called some of my friends to get their advice. All of them were supportive. Some were a little sad to see me go. My Korean friends were ecstatic that I was coming back.

But the best comment came from my oldest friend, the wild child himself–Mason. It was something to the effect of “it’s about time you went back.”

Yep, Mason knows me pretty well. And he knew what was best for me even when I didn’t know it myself. If my mother had only known all those years ago that despite Mason’s affinity for heavy metal and bars, he was one of the most boring and stable people you’d ever meet.

His idea of fun was staying home and playing his guitar (which by the way is STILL his idea of fun). And over the years, he’s proven to be a very responsible guy time and time again.

Stable and responsible.

A pretty good combination for a friend. So, look around you. Look at your friends. See who is there for you. Decide who is a true friend and who is just an acquaintance.

And never be afraid to turn to them when you are making decisions that affect you. You alone are responsible for your own destiny, but it never hurts to get a little help along the way.

Topics: Personal Development, Success Mindset |

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